On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. 3. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. Maybe I am a kindergartner? Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. Learn more about us here. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? Funny and Clever Quotes About Mortality, Death, and Dying 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. Keep talking. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. It's quite the accomplishment. Could have been worse, right. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. You speak as if youre not single yourself! StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. What do you say when people ask you that? Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. I always yawn when Im interested. 98. Youre totally on the same page. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! Living the dream! [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. 80. Thank you, it made my day. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. What a miracle. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. It's best part of the whole movie. Hello, how are you? Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. What is the polite way for asking if someone is still alive? Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! Maybe their roommate was sick. This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. 37. 59. What's your sign? 2. I just woke up like that one day. Is my relationship status a joke to you?! Another way to say Still Alive? Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. 1. No, waitIm actually plural. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! 14. What? 101 Savage, Good Comebacks for Every Witty, Funny or Rude - LovePanky What an impertinent question to ask a girl! He's jokingly texting if you're ok. 35. 22. I hope you are at your best too. That's impossible. funny response to are you still alive. 39. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. It's all about confidence. There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. [*clap your hands*]. Tom Lehrer - Wikipedia 6. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. 60 of the Most Savage Responses People Received From Their Exes Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. Sounds like effort to me. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. I'm used to it, anyway. Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. 3. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? 25 Witty Comebacks To Use On Terrible Pick Up Lines Feeling confident? To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. 92. 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), 31+ Good Comebacks to Use in an Argument With a Girl, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! 56. 4. Privacy Policy. funny response to are you still alive - claudiovoiceovers.com "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". 61. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Have you met food? He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? In fact, theyre taking too much of it. I never even listen when you tell me them. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. Have you been thinking? I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. There is plenty of room. You look tired. Shane from The L Word? You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. Do you really care? Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. You might just find one. Image: wikimedia commons 6. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. 11. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. 27. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. 99. I love you. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. Because Im awkward and ugly. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. Yup, I dont share it. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. 19 Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top - TextGod.com Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. Stupidity isnt a crime. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. This does not seem right. 10 Perfect, Sarcastic Responses To Annoying Humblebrags However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. Physically? 2. 16. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. Sort of. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Maybe you can Google it. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Reply. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. 53. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. still alive 810 GIFs. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? *licks lips*. 7. 87. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. 90. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? 1. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. Feel my shirt. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. 11. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. 58. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. 51 Funny and Flirty Responses to "How Are You" Texts I agree, thanks for sharing. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. How impressive! Are you Jamaican? Its going great, really! Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. Canva. You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. Share the best GIFs now >>> 29. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. Are You Still Alive GIFs | Tenor 20 Hilarious Things Actually Said in Court Best Life Because your ass is out of this world! I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. 20. Best Answers to the "What You Do For a Living?" Question Follow for more funny content!! I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. 17. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. Elon Musk targets Sen. Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. Just Smile And Nod Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. 54 Exciting What If Questions - Best Ways You'll Love Fun - Mantelligence HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. 15. No one loves superheroes. 67 Of The Most Hilarious Responses To Public Notices Ever Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. 13. Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. 67. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. Youll go far someday. Oh, what a long list. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". 52. I suggest you do a little soul searching. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. Siri, why am I still single? 19. Is it your job to spread ignorance? I only fall in love with anime characters. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. Whats with all these questions? Oh, a thought crossed your mind? Most of the time, that is not true. Your hair looks great! Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. Unlikely, but worth a shot. At least my hair looks amazing. (Use a sexy tone). Hi! Checklists & Reminders! It must have been a long, lonely journey. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. 100. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? - Anonymous. provided, of course, that he really is dead." My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. 16. 43. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace: What Does It Mean? Nowadays, potential mates need money. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. Happy, and I know it. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. You just have bad luck at thinking. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. funny response to are you still alive - hazrentalcenter.com 1. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. 64. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." If you're brain-dead, you're dead. Alive Quotes (560 quotes) - Goodreads Your email address will not be published. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. How did you get here? Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. 100+ Funny Things to Ask Alexa (with its Hilarious Responses) - ITTVIS Youre a ground-hugger. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. So, you changed your mind? I plead the fifth. 10. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. 6. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. In fact, they're taking too much of it. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. 13 Wildly Successful People Answer the Question: "What Do You Do?" 77. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? But, they will grow up into a dog. If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. But Ive also had better. 3. 1. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. Reply. 93. Does the new one work any better? Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. 88. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. 35 Best Texts to Respond to a Date that has Ghosted You More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. For more information, please see our I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Hey, whered you get that nose? Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. This is a good response to throw out there. Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. Then you die. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. Was that comment meant to offend me? 2. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. Here's another way to respond to your crush. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. 14. But half the time, it is a nightmare. Spiritually? 2. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. Youre not as bad as everyone says. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". Is that a scar on your face? 7. 96. Do you have a minute? Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! I'm fine. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. Heart-shattering. I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. This one is good. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. That's boyfriend material. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. 14. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. 85. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. I really thought you already knew. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. 8. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. Is your family tree a cactus? 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. funny response to are you still alive Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. Mentally? Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. I just adore my own company. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? Because if you are, youre doing it right. Thats why Im single. In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well.
Saber And Shirou Reunite Fanfiction, Articles F